Thought that counts

10 Aug 2012 - Friday

What else to expect after getting those sooo lovely wishes T.T

You' ve got my heart dears.

* Sem 2 (2-2012)

And here goes mine then...

Years of Blessings .:: 25 Feb 2010 ~ 31 Aug 2012 ::.

Despite it was just an ordinary experience others may find it; to me personally, it’s such a mind-opener throughout my 28 years of life which somehow had very much changed the way I think. I would love to share the points of happiness, humanity and responsibilities I have obtained for these past two years (plus) as a PLV, lest, there’s a written masterpiece stating that I was once a teacher on the Land of Hornbill. 

“ILP MIRI, SARAWAK”

People with long lobed ears and holes at the top of their ears, converse in a weird lingo, long-houses by the river, and there were many more things came across my mind whilst reading my appointment letter two years (plus) back in Putrajaya.

I’ve never been to any part of Sarawak, and culture wise I don’t have any idea. All I know, Miri has a bigger city than my town, as seen on TV. Hehe... But being mixed-up with their community during my matriculation time years before, I felt rare and uncommon to what I have used to in my own hometown. Although we are in the same Borneo region, the language itself was already had an obvious difference to me and what with the others. I’m not being racist, nor is looking down on people race, as mine might felt weird though to others. Only that I aware, I need to be more adaptive and mature enough as a working adult. Well, just look from the bright side and have fun.

What worrying me much at the beginning is how it looks like being a teacher to the school leaver with a lower education level ( I wish I could replace these words but can’t find any better), which people commonly relate to lower attitude level (How far is it from the truth?). Can I be a good teacher? Can I handle them? (Because I am not that good though). Can I work together with the people there? Will the community in that place accept me to be part of them? Yes, I was way too naive at the beginning. Lots of “Can I” and “Will they” questions sprung up in mind that slightly bothered me.

At the very first step entering ILP Miri, Encik Badrulzeman and Encik Suhadi were among the earliest people I’ve met here, with another two friends of mine. These two kind-hearted men were helpful enough to assist us during our goods-unloading time at the quarters and what an honour to have their assistance besides knowing them. I can feel the heartiest welcome expressed and they were really nice people sent from God on this land. Just in that little while, it already managed to erase all the fears I’ve been thinking of pointlessly before, and changed my view of everything to the other way round. Thank you Bros, for you’ve turned it right. Appreciation also goes to Puan Azlina Omar and Encik Fuhad, who have helped us much earlier, when we had nothing in hand but clothes.

As fate would have it, living here ain’t that bad. Instead, it has taught me the meaning of life, leading a good life by my own. I make friends, build network, do activities I’d love to, I cook, I eat, I jog every Sunday morning, go to market, etc..etc. What a lovely life I had. On top of that, I mix up with the students who are always having the reasons to make me smiles out of nowhere and something to ponder about.

I called one student with his name few times but he didn’t respond me. But all his friends pointed their finger at him. Then I said, “ Mak bapak kamu bagi nama elok-elok, kenapa kamu tak nak mengaku bila saya panggil”. And it does really offensive to me. Then he said, “Bukan mak bapak saya bagi nama cik, nenek saya yang bagi”. What do you expect me to do with such a respond? Sabar jela…

Sometimes they imitate me at the back with their Iban language. And how do I understand? When I asked what was going on, they laughed at me, and yet I just let them be. Fine. This is happened during the first year of service. Now? Try me.

All I managed to learn and memorize clearly are three Iban words. Nadai, Pulai, Makai.

“Mana assignment kamu?” -  “Nadai”

Or…

“Cik, dah 12.15. Maok pulai, makai” (Oh hellllo, u guys will dismiss on 12.30 okay)

Knowing and getting close to them were such a blessing to me. I seldom torture the students with physical punishment. But my words do killing them somehow. I didn’t know if my style was right, or wrong. Whether they can accept it or not, they like it, hate it, they take it right, or have revenge inside, I just didn’t know. It’s all out of my thought. 2 years isn’t enough for me to learn and understand the art of teaching.  And yet, I admit, my bad. It’s none of my intention but to get things right and make them think of their parents and their future.

There was a time when I get mad of this one student making so much noise in the class. It’s one of my pet-peeves, when I was teaching, people making noise at the back like nobody’s business. I’d rather see people lay down on the floor and sleep, than making noise and disturb the class concentration especially me. I shouted his name with my stern face. He looked at me with his odd face, as well as the rest. I could see naughty smiles from some of them. Oh God! I felt guilty when I came to know that I shouted his father’s name, instead of his name. Bingo. 

Well, I love teaching. Everybody can teach, but not all of us can educate people. Me, myself do not know which category I am in, as I am an amateur teacher definitely.  I remember when I asked a student, why some people have ‘Anak’ in their middle of name, and why you don’t have whereas you are Ibanese? She said, “Ya, saya Iban. Tapi saya sendiri tak tahu siapa ibu bapa saya, mungkin saya anak angkat”. I stunned. Because, she had married, yet divorced. She has two kids. She is just 2 years younger than me, yet her determination is undeniable. She is really inspiring me and I was amazed. Can’t you see? We here might have a way better life than other people do, but often, we wail over some too little things, if to be compared with other unluckier people facing something greater, yet pretend to be strong in their existence. But I believe, however long the night, the dawn will break. And April shower always bring May flowers. May God bless her.

I don’t know the students from other sections, but in mine, most of them are sons and daughters of farmers. Yes, some of them come from a well-being family too. But whoever they are, their rights have to be respected as much as anyone else. And I wish all the best in life to all the students.

All in all, I love living in Miri. Life is just wonderful, and I enjoy my personal life here. Working and living in Miri does really colour the picture of my life. Indeed, these are precious moments and days that will never return. One of my hard-learned life lessons is that time travels in only one direction. I will never get a chance to relive this very moment. We have all been given the wonderful and miraculous gift of life, but our time on this earth has a definite expiration date. I reflect on this simple truth whenever I face a major decision or when I need to reprioritize my life. I still remember what my teacher said years ago, whatever you do, do the best. While my friend said, if you do something half-heartedly, you gain nothing, you give nothing. The absolute satisfaction can’t be measured with material comfort. I know there’re holes in my career journey, here and there. But that’s the best I can give till then. 

Thank you to Mdm F, for being there with me through good and bad. One of the most important persons I will never forget. Also bunch of thanks to all the members of ILP Miri, for the supports, advices, and for the great and unforgettable moments we have together. And in the meantime, I would humbly seek for your apology for all my wrongdoings, words, both intentionally and unintentionally. May we cross path somewhere in between this life. All the best!