='(

Sometimes I feel like I’m strong enough to face everything that come over me, ignorance enough to neglect all the funny2 things, and cud create a great surroundings on my own to live in, but….hmm

Deep in this heart I was so grateful to be sent over here, but I do mad of a few parties that take us for granted. This is sooooo unfair!

One fine morning, I checked my email, n received a memo from a friend, and it has been forwarded by our another friend, (somebody who has been posted to Labuan). I smiled. And I found it was very surprising to see a memo from the government saying that we, all the officers who have to attend for a long term course, gonna get some added incentives so called Bayaran Sara Hidup (BSH) for those who are in Sabah, Sarawak n Labuan, which I think is quite a reasonable amount, to replace or cover all the benefits n allowances that we have lost throughout this NONSENSE course period! My friend asked me to call HQ for further clarification, as we think that we all deserve it. I keep on calling them from 8 to 5, but none was answered. Where have u been boys? Party?? I’m going sick of this typical disease which is getting widespread day by day. And the next morning, I’ve tried again n it went the same. Until I received a message from a friend saying that our friend managed to call HQ the day before. I called her, and she told me everything. And it is too much when hearing all the things. Huh! Our first thought had turned to be the other way round! Know what? Our allowances should be lesser than what we get now (starting from the day we started this ridiculous course). We all shouldn’t get the BIW as we leave our territory for more than 3 months. Ok, that one we have well-aware ever since day 1 we start the course. But when we get the pay-slip, the BIW is still paid. Ok, put it aside first.

What is BSH all about? HQ said: it will be given to those who have to cross the South China Sea, go to Sabah, Sarawak or Labuan for a long term course.

So, how about us? HQ said: in your case, you have to follow the peninsular BSH rate, means, your respective area rate, where you have been located for the course. Example, if your area entitled for RM100, so u’ll get RM100 lah. (Wahhh…this is so mean!)

But, we still get the BIW until now. How come? HQ said: that means, after this course, you have to pay back the entire over-paid amount to the Government. (Hwahhhh……)

My friend said to him: mane boleh cmni encik..ktorang dah willing dihantar kesana, dgn harapan kitorang dptla keistimewaan2 yg kitorang berhak dpt, berbanding yg dpt kt semenanjung..

HQ: Ye, sy fhm…sy fhm masalah encik. Tp mmg takde penyelesaian untuk tu. Tu sume *P* yg wat..

My friend: Jadi, mcm tu jelah??

HQ: Mcm tu lah…

Bla. Bla. Bla.

I think I have no problem to pay back all the money. Luckily, I still have my own saving even not that much. (But things are really burning a big hole in my pocket). I just felt down, because, since I stepped in to this sector, I feel like I’ve been threatened by their injustices act! Menyusahkan pekerja, yang bekerja untuk kesenangan rakyat. To-date, I realized, I am not working actually. I am just a dummy for them to do their work, just accept what they want to do and what they want to give.

Many are well-informed that the highest rate of BSH is of course Sabah, Sarawak and Labuan.

Just FYI, all the Sabah, Sarawak, Labuan officers (who are not locally from the respective territory they have been posted), will entitle for EPW, BIW, critical allowance, and housing allowance.

But, 4 of us are really2 unlucky! We just get the housing allowance out of the rest that we shud get (ni pun entah2 dia nak potong gak kalo bleh..yelah kan, save cost…BERKHIDMAT UNTUK NEGARA! yeah!!), just because of this so called long term course. But once again, it’s all NONSENSE. Attend or not, it’s just the same. Kursus tak serupa kursus. Syok sendiri!

I am getting tired. I wish I cud turn back time. Yes, I did said I won’t join my previous place, but at least at that time, maybe I can wait a little longer for another better chances. Huhu!

Ya Allah, please shed some light on me to move on… Help me to get rid of this feeling, and let me work with all my heart and sincerity…


Disappointed officer;
AJ

They are one of the best things ever happened in my life

Aku dan kawan2 pegi piknik Sabtu lepas, kt Sg. Tekala, Hulu Langat ...huhuuu..best giler..
actually tempat tu biase2 je...bg aku, Bekok ngn Ledang best lagik...tp, apa sahaja yg dilakukan bersama kwn2, kemana sahaja pun tetap best! hehe

Ntah camno lah tetiba bleh terpiknik plaks minggu nih. Fara ar ni... org ajak dia dating berdua je, tetibe bleh berpiknik lak..heheh...tp TQ fara, I happy sangat... Actually kan, ari tu i main2 jer sms u ajak dating, bile u tanye i serius ke main2, i saje je kate serius...(jgn mara fara...)..but at the same time, kalo bebetul pun apo salahnyo...hehee... tak sangka lak u bleh jadikan sesuatu yg main2 tu kpd sesuatu yg more interesting n meaningful..ngeheheh...I lap u!

yg x sangka tu, am pun bleh join...mak suke! hihi..tu pun setelah dipujuk2, akhirnye aku berjaya!..haha..bestnye dpt kumpul ngn kwn2 yg sengal cam korg. c Maziah minah utara yg tak brapa nak senonoh tu pun ikut..dia jadik AJK kopok, yg dipikul dlm plastik, org kampung aku ckp, 'kantung hingar'..hehe..

Ktorg btolak dr Shah Alam kol9 pg, then jumpa Maziah n Leha kt Putrajaya dlm kol10 pg kot..ktorg btolak dr sana sama2 1 kete menuju ke Sg Tekala..OTW ke waterfall tu, ktorg lalu 1 kwsn memorial cina yg sgt besar dan 'happening'...huahuahua...dorg dok sebut bende tu Nirvana...tah apo bondo eh menatang Nirvana tuh...Kurt Cobain kene tanam kt situ kot..hehehe

Sesampai kt sana, bukan tros terjun dlm air pon...apo yg penting, kito mkn dulu...hehehe..mcm2 ado, walaupun last minute plan..ktorg serumah bwk mihun n sandwich (serumah ko?hehehe....rumah tumpang yek), Leha bwk drumet n nuggets, n Maziah bwk kopok (tp kn Maziah, sbnrnya, eden tak sompat pon meraso kopok hang..huhu)..

Ktorg berlima pun mandi manda bak kanak2 ribena...haha..tp yg tak bestnya, aku takleh lasak sgt arr ...huhu...kacau btol!
Teringat lak time kite wat sesi ngumpat n meluah perasaan dlm air (siap buat bulatan gitu..haha) , main sliding2 kt batu berbantukan kaki maziah yg ala zirafah tu..ha, yg ni am suke ar...dia yg start..dlm hati aku, tah pape je korg main nih, malu org nampak...hahaha...tp, sendiri terjebaks jugak..huhu
dlm kol2ptg, ktorg pun stop mandi manda..kemas2 n balik...

Terima kasih Fara, Am, Leha n Maziah, kerana menggembirakan aku pd minggu ini..kan best kalo Linda ikut skali...=( ..
n special thanks to Fara sbb tumpangkan rumah, arrange the picnic, n masakkan lunch untuk aku sblom balik...hehe...but, u still owe me asam pedas daging ala Mak Gee! hehehe

Lepas ni, kite ke Genting bersama plak eh..Am da offer nk jadi organizer tu...dia kan host...haha...kali ni kite tumpang umah dia kt Karak plak ye Fara...sblom tuh kite singgahla KFC...Karak kan ade KFC ;p


Love u ol!

A day with Kak Leen

If last week happened to be the very busiest week I've ever seen since I came here in this section (IPD), this week would be the most silent week to all..I guess so!

There are 6 members in this section excluding me (as I'm not part of this dept staff), 5 of them are all PPLV..and of course, they have more experience in this field. and Kak Leen...is one of them..30s, married, has 2 children, Azim and Damya.

Kak Leen has served for JTM for 6-7 years if i'm not mistaken..She has her own 'klik' and I have my own. Even we seldom get the chance to talk one-to-one, we still have a good relationship to each other.

Today, there're just me and Kak Leen the only woman in the office. Everybody are taking their leaves.

So, since there's nothing much to do, and the students have just completed their portfolio task, she asked me out for breakfast. We talk about many things..Personal, students, & career..She loves to tell her experience being an instructor, and how the students who have the differed character should be dealt..I love to listen, and it's quite funny..haha..

Again, in the afternoon, she asked me out for lunch. We had our lunch at McD Ayer Keroh..being with her all day long has gave me the opportunity to get to know her more better..and spoken to her has brought me afterthought on what is being an instructor (or in a common term, a teacher) all about..and then, what should I highlight is, she had advised me to create a few characters in front of the students, let them not to understand u to bring their respect to us (because she said, we definitely won't understand them all), just treat them as our children, it's ok to be harsh with them (dgn niat untuk mendidik dorang) and hit them if necessary.. don't show if we want to help them..because they'll know themselves and understand what we are doing once they have completed their study..let them think..
i was very amazed..know what, a very naughty student has come to her (before we go to lunch) and seek for her apology..he cried out loud and tarik tgn kak leen sambil cium tgn kak leen..semuanya berlaku depan mata aku...sambil dlm hati berkata, "oh, begini rupanya menjadi seorang cikgu.."..kagum dgn kak leen, dia begitu ikhlas dlm mendidik...I hope I can be one...
then dalam kete menuju ke Ayer Keroh, ktorg bersembang...

aku: ape kak leen da ckp kt dorang dlm kelas td?
kak leen: takdelah..ala...biase2 je..standard kalo budak da nak abes, kite mintak maaf la...bg dorg nasihat sume
aku: nape Ijam sedih sgt tu?..
kak leen: entahla...dia kate dia tersentuh...sbb dia rase dia mmg bdk nakal
aku: sy mmg tak tengok muka Ijam td..sy ni mmg tak leh tengok org nangis, nanti dgn saya2 skali
nangis...hahaha
kak leen: akak pun tahan2 je td tu sbnrnye...hahaha
aku: tp rase nk gelakkan dia pun ade kak..bile akak ckp, ape kenangan awak yg indah sgt dgn sy ni smpai awak nangis mcm ni skali...sy slalu marah awak je..hahaha

ktorg pun gelak...hadoiii la...macam2....


Afterall, it was a very interesting job though..like what kak leen said, I prefer to be an instructor, rather than sitting under the Unit...Biarlah memeningkan kepala, berdepan dgn student...tp sebenarnya, ia byk mematangkan diri kita...

I'll take all the good things I've learned from Kak Leen..and thanks for all the advice. You're such a good teacher, mother, and sister!

Kehidupan baru

Hari ni aku boring yg amat sehingga memaksa aku merapu2 kt sini..sbnrnya, aku cadang nak wat come-back bila aku benar2 bersedia untuk menceritakan segala2nya yg telah terjadi, since aku pun da lama tak update blog..(cecece..)..tp 3 bln kebelakang yg telah dilalui, walaupun nampak singkat, tp penuh dgn cerita2 baru yg langsung aku tak sangka aku akan laluinya...

2010..

aku terasa diriku btol2 mcm bola tahun ni...siapa sangka, dgn aman bahagianya aku bekerja d kampung halaman sebelum ini, tetiba, 1 keputusan yg telah aku ambil menyebabkan aku di'tendang' ke merata2 tempat..huhu..but...i have no regret..it was already fated by Him, n i believe, there must be a good thing lies behind and ahead.. Syukur Alhamdulillah kerana diberi peluang untuk merasai semua ini..walaupun pd mulanya aku agak rapuh, ragu2 dgn tindakan sendiri, pendirian yg tak tetap ibarat lalang, kejap ke situ kejap ke sini, hilang fokus dan asyik fikir benda lain, akhirnya...i manage to pull my feet back on to the ground..setelah aku melayang2 kemana2 mencari fokus yg seakan2 hilang...dan, inilah takdir namanya...

dlm kekalutan, aku sebenarnya telah melalui episod2 yg sgt menarik, dan berjumpa dgn watak2 baru yg berbagai2 dlm hidup ini.. apapun, kehidupan aku di Miri tidaklah seteruk yg disangka..malah, hidupku ceria disana (hehe)...kemudian, tercampak pulak ke Selandar..sebuah tempat yg aku tak penah dgr namanya, yg terletak d daerah Jasin, Melaka..pd mulanya.., my feelings, situation, is quite miserable jgkla..really challenge me inside out..but after nearly 3 months time, aku da mula dpt melihat semua perkara dr sudut positif..bersyukur dihantar kesini..sbb, kalo tak dihantar kesini, sampai bila2 aku tak tau ada tempat bernama Selandar, mengenali tempat baru yg tak nampak d Google Map ni, serta mengenali seluruh isinya..kau ada??? TAK ADAAA....hahaha...(blagak!)..bagiku, 4bulan adalah satu jangkamasa yg sgt singkat, tp padat dgn cerita..

Hmm...

apa yg berlaku pd hari ini adalah kesinambungan daripada post aku yg bertarikh 11 January 2009.

Tak sangka, perjalanan aku sbelum dan pada hari aku attend interview yg agak huru hara tu, rupanya ada 'sesuatu'..haha..by the time aku dpt surat tawaran tu, aku dpt melihat kekuasaan Allah, betapa itulah yg dinamakan rezeki yg dikurniakan olehNya, walaupun lahirnya, persediaan aku untuk interview tu mmg kosong, dan kucar kacir..Dewi dan Erra yg menjadi saksi atas apa yg telah berlaku pd waktu itu pun mengakui perkara ini...mmg unpredictable..

Apepun, Allah lebih mengetahui..dan aku redha.